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 Post subject: If Tourist Railroad Problems were Animated
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2018 12:40 pm 

Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2017 12:18 am
Posts: 11
To my knowledge, no one has tried exploring the problems we face in this particular way. So please bear with me.

This is the rough draft for the latest installment of something I've been working for two years on, as a way to get newcomers introduced to rail preservation. This particular story revolves around a mythical tourist railroad running somewhere in the US, and is heavily influenced by eight years of volunteering for two separate groups. The finished version would be told via 2D animated characters matte painted into the 3D world of Trainz: A New Era. This story is largely intended for a very particular audience at a private showing, but if successful, a public release can be made with some minor adjustments.

Basically, what I want to hear from you guys is if the whole premise is any good. I know this may not be much, but I at the very least want to make an effort in tackling the issues many of us are facing.

https://jumpshare.com/v/TW8KP4rSvVJSMylaGOUQ


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 Post subject: Re: If Tourist Railroad Problems were Animated
PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2018 11:29 pm 

Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 9:06 pm
Posts: 2530
Location: Thomaston & White Plains
Please, please do not use "deboard". That's not a word. Passengers "detrain" from a railroad passenger car. They also don't "debark", or "embark". Those are maritime terms. "Discharge passengers" is also a traditional railroad term for this action.

Howard P.

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"I'm a railroad man, not a prophet."


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 Post subject: Re: If Tourist Railroad Problems were Animated
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2018 12:17 am 

Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2017 12:18 am
Posts: 11
Funnily enough, that's a word the conductor at my museum uses. Sorry if I was playing a little too close to real life.

Other than that, how's the rest of the story?


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 Post subject: Re: If Tourist Railroad Problems were Animated
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2018 12:55 am 

Joined: Fri Aug 27, 2004 4:02 pm
Posts: 1742
Location: Back in NE Ohio
When I worked for Amtrak, there was an incident near RO Interlocking, the South end of the Long Bridge over the Potomac, when a CSX intermodal train had a trailer that had come loose hanging out catch between the cars of a passing Amtrak train and catch the cut lever of a car, causing the cars to separate. When the new Amtrak spokesperson (not Cliff Black, who would have known better) gave a statement to the press about the incident, he said the cars "became decoupled". I cringed when I heard that. Then I found out more about this new guy a few weeks later when he turned up on my train and I had a chance to talk to him. Turns out his background was in stock brokerage and he got the Amtrak job because his wife worked at headquarters. Nepotism be thy name!


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 Post subject: Re: If Tourist Railroad Problems were Animated
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2018 7:23 pm 

Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2012 4:49 pm
Posts: 297
Location: Los Altos, CA
Howard P. wrote:
Please, please do not use "deboard". That's not a word.


How about "alight"?

In the UK, they say "set down."


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 Post subject: Re: If Tourist Railroad Problems were Animated
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2018 10:22 pm 

Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2005 2:27 am
Posts: 569
Location: Winters, TX
Actually, "deboard" is a real word.

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/deboard

Detrain sounds too much like Tattoo pointing at the tracks and yelling "De train, de train."


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 Post subject: Re: If Tourist Railroad Problems were Animated
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 1:51 am 

Joined: Thu Aug 26, 2004 2:50 pm
Posts: 2815
Location: Northern Illinois
PaulWWoodring wrote:
When the new Amtrak spokesperson (not Cliff Black, who would have known better) gave a statement to the press about the incident, he said the cars "became decoupled". I cringed when I heard that.


When I was applying for a patent on a model railroad coupler a number of years ago, I had the same problem with the patent attorney, everything was "decouple, decouple." As I recall, we finally compromised; I wrote the descriptive text using uncouple, while he wrote the claims using decouple, and I deferred to his judgment, as the claims are the legal description, done in legal terms. I figured anyone who could make sense of the "proximate" and "distal" ends of a coupler wouldn't have any problem with decouple.

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 Post subject: Re: If Tourist Railroad Problems were Animated
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 1:56 am 

Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2017 12:18 am
Posts: 11
Guys.

I just wanted to know whether or not my story was worth producing or not. -_-



Last edited by DixieFlagler on Sat Jun 23, 2018 1:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: If Tourist Railroad Problems were Animated
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 5:34 am 

Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 1:57 am
Posts: 210
Precisely what message are you trying to get across with these videos? Is there a demand for such information, or is it for entertainment value?


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 Post subject: Re: If Tourist Railroad Problems were Animated
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2018 4:44 pm 

Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 9:37 pm
Posts: 238
The image of a person standing on a knuckle (moving or not) does NOTHING to promote safety.


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 Post subject: Re: If Tourist Railroad Problems were Animated
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2018 1:02 am 

Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2017 12:18 am
Posts: 11
For those of you who read past the first line if dialogue, thank you. Also thanks for pointing out the coupler pose thing, which was based on Buster Keaton's pose in, "The Goat." That image will be redrawn in due time, probably the first thing after I rewrite the opening after its wonderful reception.

This particular story is meant to be informative, with its intended audience being museum leadership and the industry as a whole. I posted it here to ask about what revisions or changes I could make if I were to publicly release this. Everyone I know in the industry is too busy to proofread something that isn't related to their locomotive, rolling stock, structure or business, so I thought sharing it here would allow for more people to see our industry from a different perspective.

Let's just say that for next time, I know better.


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 Post subject: Re: If Tourist Railroad Problems were Animated
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2018 8:04 am 

Joined: Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:05 pm
Posts: 86
Actually did read the whole thing but just now had time to sit down and write out suggestions.

The idea might be a worthwhile effort for presentations at something like ARM conventions or the like or on it's own channel on YouTube. However, I think you need to tweak the overall idea just a bit.

The biggest problem I see is that you're trying to crunch an extremely broad and multi-faceted subject into what looks like a 10-15 minute short. That's enough time to cover perhaps one larger or two smaller issues normally faced by rail museums and also present possible fixes to such problems. I would suggest looking up the "Over the Hills" series on YouTube created by the AngryWelshman which kind of does what you're talking about here in that it covers the trials and problems of a forming heritage railway in England. The thing about is his episodes are 20-25 minutes long and he's already on episode 5 and has just now gotten into the real depth of the story with nearly an 1 1/2 hour of material already produced.

My suggestion would be to create a single 8-12 minute short and make it about one single problem commonly encountered at museums sort of like a pilot. Then make it accessible on YouTube, promote it a little bit in the forums and see how it flies. If there is enough positive feedback then produce another short specifically about another problem.

Take a single point you've made in your script here, you could easily make 8-12 minutes dedicated strictly to how the "little blue tank engine" can't be your savior every year for the rest of time. You could present the problems that the current "show" that is Thomas faces like a demanding contract, diminishing returns, lower attendance, and the simple fact that Thomas in terms of popularity is on his way out. You could also mention that just trading out Thomas for Polar Express is just trading out for the same trap in that if the event doesn't go well one year then you're financially screwed. Then you could present ideas for smaller mid sized events that a museum could host throughout the year that while they do have smaller returns, if one fails to bring in the crowds it won't nuke your funding.

You could easily make a good dozen short subjects in this fashion focusing on single subjects much like the old training and education films that used to come out.


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