George Horn retired from NYCTA and promptly became a motorman for SF Muni, where he operated PCC's.

He told the story of riders who asked "where's your steering wheel?"

George would tell them he didn't use one; the younger guys did, but he let it go where it wanted.

Just curious, how is this impossible? I know you can take a train to Halifax - or at least it used to.

G

I don't know how many times I've had the same thing occur- you fire the engine with a few scoops and a dude peers into the bunker and asks if it's propane fired, then they figure no since they saw us put 'gas' in from the water column into the tender.

I'll turn the tables a little on this topic. A friend who has run/fired steam for NS, WMSR and others went to Steamtown. He was looking at the 3713 when one of the park rangers walked up to him. My friend asked "What would it take to restore this engine?" The ranger replied, "I don't know. it's pretty broke."

BTW Brian, did it really take Dan 101 years to restore the Eureka? I thought only Noah did that. Sorry. With all of us sharing good humor here, I had to go there.

Forgot one of my favorite stories. One where a Portola visitor turned the tables on one of our engineers!

We run an EMD NW2 (WP 608) and often give cab rides. Now, this engine has the brake wheel in the cab and it was a favorite for pulling the old "steering wheel" joke.

Once, one of our hoggers had some kids in the cab (around 8-10 years old). He pulled the "steering wheel" joke and they all believed him. Well, one kid was adventurous enough to try and turn the wheel. The hogger and fireman figured he couldn't do much harm and they promptly forgot about the kid and got involved in talking to the parents. The cab is pretty loud and they're watching other things while talking, so they don't immediately connect the dots when the engine gets more and more sluggish. When the engineer notices the brakes creaking, he figures out what happened. Seems the kid made the connection that he wasn't steering, so he decided to just pull one direction with all his might to see if something would happen. He actually managed to put some set on the brakes, just enough to make them creak and bind against the wheels.

We don't pull the steering wheel joke much anymore!

Some real funny tales posted here!
I can relate to hearing some stupid visitor stories, even on a smaller scale. While it may have been a narrow 18-inches between the rails, anyone who's run a train in a park can probably relate here.

Visitor approaches the enginehouse, pointing to 1905-vintage Venice Railway #2 that has been undergoing an overhaul for the past 11 years:
Visitor: "I have an engine like that?
"Really?" (thinking he too owns a miniature locomotive)
Visitor: "Yeah, in Lionel"
"A model of the Venice Railway #2, you say?"
Visitor: "No, a black steam engine"
Even worse than modelers that think they know everything; modelers that know nothing!

I've heard the same tale told in reference to a Shay; not to mention some tourists' displeasing facial expressions after a look at the "sidewinder" itself.

or...pointing to the locomotive; no cab, no boiler jacket, smokebox completely open, and the backhead and plumbing not even starting to come together:
Visitor: "Will that steam engine run this weekend?"

While that was harmless stupidity, I worried more of the careless parents who allowed their children to use the line's turntable and pit as a jungle gym during our lunch breaks, or more dangerously, while the railroad was in operation. The railroad these people take for granted as a way to keep their kid's hyperactivity level down could be killed by a lawsuit if that kid got injured in the turntable. The RR has since put up signs in the yard to prevent this, though I doubt peopel will pay attention. The same goes for joggers who would run beneath the crossing gate (then manually-operated) as we were closing it.

As for the "it's not a steam engine" comments...I was up at Edaville around 2 months ago when they had their Hudswell out. A beautiful little engine with a fine bark. People were staring at the locomotive as if they were witnessing the second coming of Christ; completely dumbfounded (the amount of steam in the cold, and the 6-chime whistle. The real kicker was as the train passed the crossing/entrance gate from the parking lot. I can safely say these folks probably never saw a steam locomotive in operation, maybe with the exception of Disney, and probably with the conception that too was a "diesel locomotive" due to its minimal smoke; don't even think of explaining to them how an atomizer works, or that the fuel burned in that firebox is No. 2 diesel!

This isnt rail presrvation related but show some ignorance. A visitor once walked in the doorat the state park I worked at. The visitor picked up arolled up plastic bag out of a box labeled trash bags. The visotrasked "What are these?" "Trash bags." I replied "What are they for?" the visitor queired. "Trash" was my response.

I don't know if my fingers weren't working right or if my mind was in the nineteenth century.

Maybe I should share the story that finishes "Mister, you sure got a dumb hobby!"

So, what actually DID happen to him? I seriously hope some manner of legal action was taken against him, as that is clearly an act of vandalism. I personally chased a man out of the B&O museum once for doing that to AFT #1, chipping away paint from the US seal on the tender. It didn’t matter to me I didn't work at the museum, or that the paint job was heavily weathered by then, but the guy turned into a track star once he knew he'd been busted!
I can't imagine how far this thread will go, as we've all heard some really bonehead things over the years.
I was at a train show once, can't recall where now, where someone had an entire knuckle couple assembly there. Beats me how they got it to the show, but it had a sign that said, "Free to anyone who can pick it up without machines or tools." You can't imagine the line of people trying to lift the thing! It reminded me of people trying to pull Excalibur from the rock or something!
Knock yourself out! BTW, that's a WW2 insulated blood plasma container, not a trash can, but unless you're familiar with them, they pretty much look the same. And if someone came up to me at a show asking if it WAS a trash can, I wouldn't consider that a stupid question. I use it for a cooler, filled with ice and sodas for events.
Once at a show, there was a group of WW2 re-enactors, all wearing uniforms and gear. On their display table, there was a bunch of GI-Joe-sized figures sitting in a scale Jeep. A lady walked by, ignored everything else and saw the model Jeep, and said, "Oh, this is nice, you can see how it all looked like when people were using the stuff." The REAL PEOPLE (who had all the gear on) standing right behind her were left dumbfounded.
It's hilarious some of the questions I get when I'm wearing my WW2 uniform with my Jeep:
"Is that a real campfire?" (I usually just give them my, "You've GOT to be kidding" face)
"Were in WW2?" (Geepers, I'm only 35 years old!)
"Is that a WW2 foxhole?" (this is while they're watching me DIGGING it!)
"Do you shoot real bullets at each other?" This was asked right after a public display skirmish with us and folks dressed as Germans.
Or my ALL TIME favorite, from a teenage girl at Armed Forces day at Fort Lewis:
"Did you die in the war?"
Yeah, it keeps me awake at night sometimes. It really does…

You guys are getting way too serious. How about a story about an unwitting visitor, one who didn't even know he was going to visit?

A good number of years ago, the Illinois Railway Museum used to sponsor a yearly wintertime fan trip, the "Snowflake Special" on the Chicago Transit Authority elevated lines. I didn't go on many of them; at the time I was WORKING for the CTA, but this particular year the equipment was going to consist of Car 1, one of the original 1890's open platform South Side cars, and two 1920's era steel motor cars to pull it. This trip was too good to pass up.

The wood car was perpetually crowded, and after a while I moved to the lead steel car. The old Chicago air brake cars (4000's) had wide sliding doors at the extreme corners of the car body, and the motorman just sat on a wood stool on the front platform. As I recall, the motorman on this trip was then CTA Supt. of Operations Bob Janz, and as we were drifting toward a red signal at the end of the platform at 59th and Wentworth, Bob had the door full open so he could watch back along the train to be sure that none of the local passengers tried to board our slowly moving special train.

Just as the signal went to a proceed indication, one of the local dandies came bounding up the stairs to the platform, spotted a train just leaving with a door still open, and hopped in before Bob could even open his mouth, much less stop before we passed the end of the platform. Belive me, this was one cool dude; sharp jacket, pointy shoes, rakish wide brim hat... this was Super Fly himself, goin' to take the A train to see his lady. As he slipped behind Bob and turned to face the car, what should he see before him but dozens of grinning railfans, more Honkies than he'd ever seen in one place, at least in his neighborhood. Must have been quite a shock; he was totally speechless.

Bob assured him that since he was on the train, we'd take him as far as he needed to go, the end of the line or whatever station he had intended to go to. As I recall, he mumbled something about "next station" and he beat a hasty retreat at 63rd. & Harvard.

It's a shame he wasn't with us long enough to get infected by the hobby :-)

I can very much agree with Mr Kellys statement about parents allowing their kids to make a jungle gym of railroad areas and equipment and overall general lack of understanding and patience. Remember, THEIR kids can do no wrong!

Something similar happened while I was working on a particular touist line at Christmas time. We had just pulled into the station and unloaded 400 people and had another 400 waiting on the platform to board. In the short 15 minute time frame we had inbetween trips, my train crew, consiting of 4 other people aside from myself, made a quick run through of the 6 car train to return seats to normal position, quick pick up any big trash laying around and check for personal belongings of the passengers who just detrained and then begin boarding the passengers many of whom were in groups of 10 or more with no assigend seating system. I had worked my own system out with the ticket agent to assign the groups to certain locations on the platform to equally fill up the 70 seat capacity coaches in a minmal amount of time (it worked quite well)

Now apparently the 397 other people who were waiting in the chilly weather had understood what we were doing, and were patient. But one woman with her two children thought other wise. While I was passing between cars going about the quick check, she and her children decided to just board. I kindly asked her to wait with the others on the platform as we were not ready to begin boarding. She replied that she couldn't wait because her son was ready to get on. I again asked her to wait just for a moment and allow us to finish up and she began to yell at me saying that she coulnd't control her child becuase of his autism and that I was discriminating against her and her child since he was handicapped.

Apparently I was supposed to use my psychic abilities and already know that her one child was "mildly autistic." I understood her point, but not the tone she was using and began to get aggravated since we were wasting time. I said, ma'am (while pointing to a wheel chair bound passenger waiting patiently on the platform directly behind the yellow line) I think you should go wait on the platform like everyone else......She turned, looked the direction I was poiting saw the wheelchair and in a fit began screaming "where is your manager!?.... Im going to report you and this whole company to the ADA!" I said with pleasure, 'Be my guest!' and pointed to the station managers office. The manager apparently had over heard the who thing and had the womans refund waiting in hand....the manager wanted nothing to do with the woman and just wanted her off the property.

Some passengers later commented, that they all thought she was a little touched in the head and that they saw no reason for her reaction and that they didn't mind the short wait.

This is indeed a true Story.

"Visitor: 'No, a black steam engine'
Even worse than modelers that think they know everything; modelers that know nothing!

Actually, many casual hobbyist (not the hard core type modeler) would find your indignant response rather humerrous. To much of the world, a black steam engine is a black steam engine.

That reminds me of one we get a lot. Being named "The South Carolina Railroad Museum" and having the designation as "the official railroad museum of South Carolina" makes a lot of folks think we get State money. We've gotten a lot of indignant comments about stuff being unrestored when we're "the State railroad museum." My usual response is to say something along the lines of, "We're the 'official State railroad museum' but it's like being the 'official State stone' or 'official State bird' -- the State gave us a very nice honor but no money to go with it. After all, how do you fund a rock?" That usually shifts the blame for the unrestored equipment to the General Assembly and gets the visitor off my back. :o)

In case you don't know, the Ohio Central is a very big supporter of the Boy Scouts. A couple of years ago Mr. Jacobson opened his property near Sugarcreek up for the Boy Scouts to have a big railroad campout and jamboree. They set up camp on his lower property near the Wheeling line and at 7 a.m. sharp Saturday morning we picked up the 500 scouts with the passenger train, behind steam locomotive 1293. We took them to the Morgan Run shops where everything was set up so they could get their railroading merit badge.

There was an entire agenda for them to learn everything from MOW, freight cars, model trains, diesel locomotives and of course a detailed instruction on the workings of a steam locomotive. The highlight was a cab tour of the 1293. Being the assigned fireman that day and having responsibility of watching the engine, I was asked to give the cab tours.

Harder than hand firing a steam locomotive is getting 500 boy scouts through the cab of a steam locomotive (8 at a time) in 3 hours! I gave them the basics, whistle, throttle, reverser, water and steam guages you know, the basics. Of course the only thing they wanted to aks was if they could blow the whistle. Well, that was out of the question as informational talks wer taking place around the locomotive and to do so would drown out not only those speakers but every other person trying to talk in the yard. So I would then ask one of them (usually the youngest or smallest) to step on the peddle that operates the automatic butterfly firebox doors so they could see the fire. Well they thought that was pretty cool.

I'm sure many of you know how quickly your voice starts to go while talking so much but after a while when I got to the point to ask if anyone had any questions, I would get "Can we step on that peddle and open the doors?" Word was out about the peddle and the fire. Funny how the most mundane and minor of items can garner so much interest; all they wanted to do was step on that peddle and open the door. After a while, my talk consisted of "there's the throttle, the reverse gear, there's where the fireman sits, step on that peddle and see the fire - have a nice day!"

It may not be the funniest story but its one I'll always remember.

G

It's all parenting.

Ignorance breeds ignorance.

And it's nothing new.

I'm sure people who have been at the oldest railroads or museums in the industry for years have seen a great deal.

I read in a story by Kurt Bell from 1990 about the Wilmington and Western, that on it's very first day of operations in 1966, someone delibrately placed a large concrete block on the track around a blind curve, causing damage to the 2-6-0. Now this is almost certainly deliberate vandalism, as opposed to stupidity, but it just goes to say, it's always been going on.

And I'm sure the pros out there have many other stories of mindless vandelism!

Paul